When Purple Dinosaurs Attack
by Ivory-Fire
Summary: When Barney get's hit in the head, he goes on a crazy killing spree. This is what happens when Barney decides to go head to head in an all out war against such characters like... Dora the Explorer. R & R, enjoy!


WARNING: Not for the weak of heart. If you don't feel like reading about Random Characters from children's television shows getting beaten and possibly killed by Barney the purple Dinosaur, than don't read. But do review! Rated Pg 13 (Possibly R in the future) for Violence... and possibly language and Plot. Viewer's Digression is advised.   
  
Disclaimer: No I do NOT own Barney or any characters that may appear in this fan fiction, so don't bother asking. (Plus, who would WANT to own Barney *shivers*)  
  
A/N: Okay, last night I had an extremely funny dream. Funny, as in, I woke up in the middle of the night laughing so much I almost peed the bed. What if, Barney slipped on a toy in the nursery and hit his head really hard to his box of dress up clothes? Than all of a sudden, he goes on this... "search and destroy" mission to kill everything in sight, and rule the television? Muhahaha... Ladies and Gentlebugs, I present to you the comedy of the fan fictions, the lord of all humour.   
  
When Purple Dinosaurs Attack  
  
By Ivory-Fire  
  
March 5th 2004  
  
Prelude  
  
"Stupid toys. Stupid snot-nose-kids. Stupid snot-nose-kids who leave the stupid toys all over the floor!" Cried Barney, bending down as low as his purple-self could allow him. The classroom floor was littered with dress up clothes (including a pair of hot pink panties), various toys, and such. It had seemed that the night before, he had decided to have a little party the night before after the kids had gone home, and was left with a giant hang-over. It was only now, a minute before the children should arrive, that he had awoke from his grand slumber with a pounding headache, realizing that the place was a mess. Hurrying to pick up the beer cans and vodka bottles, he heard the bell ring in the front foyer, someone was here. Running as quickly as his large feet would move, he reached the door just as it was opening up- and hip-checked it closed. Turning the lock, he moved back into the largest of the three rooms in the nursery to finish picking up objects that no child should ever see until they were 18.   
  
The doorbell began ringing furiously to his annoyance. Sighing, he turned to look at the room. No sharp objects. Good. Returning to the foyer, he opened the door, letting the mother and child in. Fortunately, it was Random Mother and Child #1, and therefore, Random Mother #1 didn't want to stay long. Unfortunately for Barney, opening the door allowed other Random Children into the room. His day had begun. Closing the door, he trudged back to the room with four Random Children attached. Blinking a few times, he saw something he'd never think he'd ever see in his life (nor did he ever WANT to see again). Two Random Children were smoking a pack of cigarettes they just "happened" to find laying around, Random Child #7 was running around with the hot pink panties on his head, another three Random Children were attacking eachother with smashed vodka bottles, and over all, the scene was pure caos.   
  
"Random Child #7: Get that off your head! Random Children #s 2 and 5, NO SMOKING IN THE NURSERY! Go outside if you have to." Pealing the broken vodka bottles out of Random Children #s 1, 3 and 4's hands, he tossed them out the window. A squeaky voice rang out in his ears suddenly.  
  
"What's Pink, smoking, and scratches on the window before exploding?" It appeared that Random Child #6 was telling a few others jokes. When they shrugged, the child smirked. "A baby in a microwave!"The other children burst out in laughter. But Barney shook his head. That was supposed to be a joke? In two large strides, he crossed over to them, preparing to tell them his funniest and perhaps his corniest joke.   
  
"You think that's funny? What does Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common? Easy, they're both plastic and dangerous for children." As the children shrieked in laughter, Barney smiled. Kids. Gotta love 'em. Suddenly, there was a sharp third on his tale. Whipping around, Barney slipped on a car that just "accidentally" was left there. He began falling to the ground, his large body slowing him down. The last thing he remembered before he blacked out was hitting his head on the Dress-up-box. After a few moments of silence, Random Child #8 spoke up.   
  
"Is he dead?" Various children shrugged and began poking the purple dino with "Imagination sticks" (more like broken tree branches). Two children screamed as his eyes opened.   
  
"Barney?" Random Child #3 said. But the purple dinosaur just smirked.   
  
"Heeeeeere's Barneeeey!" The children screamed.   
  
Later that day when Random Fathers arrived to pick up their Random Children, they learned that their children had been stabbed once in the back, and lay bleeding on the floor. One child, who was still alive at the time, said to his Random Father before dying in the man's arms,  
  
"Daddy...he...gunna...kill...He...gunna...kill...all."   
  
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Yea, I know that was kinda... rushed... and not to mention short, but it was just a prelude. I just wanted to explain what happened to Barney before actually making him Kill. Hrm... now off to write chapter one.  
  
Got questions? Chapter ideas? Comments? FLAMES? All's welcomed in reviews. Shout outs will be posted at the END of each chapter, so get your review in TODAY! ^~ 


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